Wednesday 24 June 2015

Golden Boars V. the Slann-in-Spacers

I took a break from shipbuilding the other night for a game of Bloodbowl as my old pal Ollie was back in town.

His Golden Boars team were spoiling for a bit of Pub League action and my Slann-in-Spacer's (more about them here as well) were only too happy to oblige - would it be a walk over for the Big League boys or might there be some giant killing from the under dogs?

So without any further ado, I'll pass you on to Jim Johnson and Bob Bifford for the match commentary...

Welcome one and all to what promises to be a very exciting massac... I mean match. Little League upstarts, the Slann-in-Spacer's are facing off against the renowned Golden Boars.

That's right Jim. The Spacer's don't stand a chance. I mean who can compete with money like that?

Erm Bob, I think you mean talent like that?

Yep, I sure do Jim - money like that. Those boys are rolling in it! Just look at that line up - Star Players Griff Oberwald and my old mate Zug have turned up. Players of that calibre won't even get out of bed for less than 300, 000 big ones.

Quite right Bob, but the Spacer's have a trick or two up their sleeve too. Their Ogre player, Scrogg th' Phrogg should give the Mighty Zug something to think about and what is that sweet music I hear?

I think that must be the sweet sweet purring of a chainsaw Jim! Profits must be up at the Slann in Space if they can afford the services of Flint Churnblade! Let's just hope the ref doesn't spoil the fun...

Enough of the chit chat Bob - they're off! The Spacer's have decided to kick off and its a beautiful day for this beautiful game.

Ah, now this is what the Little Leagues are all about Jim - getting in early and ganging up on your opponents. A great early blitz by the Spacer's!

Ooh - boot meets head and its love at first sight! The first KO of the match!

I wouldn't want to be him right now Jim...

Its up to the Boars to respond - they can't take that kind of treatment lying down. Apart from that injured player of course!

Yes Jim - and it looks like Oberwald is earning his exorbitant fee. That Spacer sure knows what premium boot leather tastes like now!

Looks like we're in for a real ruckus, Bob - look at those Boars lining up for a scrap on the halfway line.

I'm sure they won't disappoint Jim!

Oof - now there's the difference between brute strength and star quality, Jim!

Sure is Bob - that Ogre will think twice about picking on someone his own size again.

But wait what's this Jim? A second KO for the Boars! Flint Churnblade has gone and ruined that Lineman's day. What a player!

Yes Bob, but I'd say he got off lightly - that blitz could have taken his head off!

The Boars sure don't like it up 'em. Its great to see that stars like Zug and Oberwald aren't above kicking a player while he's down.

Agreed Bob, but Zug is going to have to kick that Ogre a lot harder than that if he wants a good satisfying crunch! 

The Boars' thrower gets in on the action  but - oh no! He's down! Should have stuck to chucking balls around instead of going toe to toe with that lineman.

He 's just chewing on the Astro-granite now!

Ha,ha - in all that excitement, the ball's been completely forgotten! Now that's what I call Bloodbowl Bob!

Sure is Jim, but trust an Elf to spoil the fun - the Spacers' Thrower has sneaked through the ruckus and poised ready to pick up the ball.

Why's he stopped though Bob?

I don't know Jim. The coach won't be happy with that!

At least the rest of the team are playing in the spirit of the game - there's goes another Golden Boar player carted off on a stretcher!

Wonderful! That Spacer Lineman's fist nearly came out of the back of his head!

It's about time Oberwald earned his fee Bob - perhaps he can rescue the Boars?

He sure is a slippery fish Jim - look at him dodge those Spacers!

And he's off - I've not seen such speed since that Halfling ate your Big Moot Sandwich last week, Bob!

Absolutely Jim - I was just glad I got to eat my sandwich after all. Shame for the Halfling that it was in his belly at the time! Griff's not the only one playing the running game though. Look at that catcher positioning himself down by the Spacers' endzone.

Uh oh - looks like Zug is in trouble. I wouldn't get too near a crazed Dwarf with a chainsaw if I were him.

Ah no worries Jim - a player like that can take it in his stride. But what's this? A beautiful block from the Spacers' Ogre, Scrogg th' Phrogg and Zug is down!

A lovely play from the Spacers - that's freed up one of their Blitzers.

Look at him go, Jim! He's got a thirst for some Star Player smack down! Even their Halfling is getting in on it!

Brave move there Bob, but they'll have to hit him harder than that if they want to stop him.

There's no flies on the Spacer's Elf Catcher either - he's not going to let the Boars' catcher have his own way in their Endzone.

And Oberwald is off again - dodges the Halfling, but wait a minute has that Blitzer caught him? He stumbles... no, no, he's recovered somehow! 

Look at him go down that wing, Jim!

Looks like he's going to make the pass...

No Bob, he's bottled it! That Elf Catcher has made him think twice.

The Spacers are after him! Somehow that Dwarf Lineman has caught up to him.

Aww, the Halfling, Toad Intole, can't catch up though. Look at those little stumpy legs going liek the clappers!

And that's a great blitz by the Dwarf, but he's only managed to push Oberwald back.

How's he going to get out of this one though Jim - there's Spacers all over him!

Good job the rest of the team is keeping us entertained though Bob. That's a great scrap between Zug and Scrogg.

And it's another KO for the Boars - the Spacers are knocking them down like ninepins! Another Golden Boars Lineman is carted off the field.

That Apothecary is going to have his work out Bob. maybe I should go lend him a hand?

Best hurry Jim - while their still breathing!

There's no stopping Griff Oberwald! Off he goes again but wait a minute - was that a tackle? No he's ok and this looks like an imminent touchdown for the Boars!

Not so fast Jim - there's a Blitzer on his tail... Ah no - they just can't pin him down. I reckon Oberwald must have lubed his armour up!

Looks like most of the Spacers are chasing him down the field!


The coach has got to be happy with that Jim - money well spent!

That's quite a jig Griff is doing on the touchline - he must be pleased. Best not let Churnblade catch up with him though...

Yes Jim, but I've got to say, the Spacers are going to be delighted with this result.

But they lost Bob?

Maybe, Jim, but you can't complain about four KO's! Those Little League boys will be happy with that!

And there you have it - a great little game after we got our heads back round the rules. It's been a while since either of us had played!

By the time Ollie had scored it was getting late and as it was a school night we thought we'd best call it a night. Definitely up for a rematch though and next time there's no way Griff is going to make all those agility rolls!


  1. Brilliant commentary, sounds like it was a great game; looking forward to a few games myself at BOYL.

    1. Yep, it was a right laugh!

      Think we'll be bringing a team or two if the leagues aren't all organised and closed already, should we get a chance to get a game in.

  2. All the earmarks of a great bloodbowl game, KO's no penalties and a single touchdown. Fantastic.

    1. And all that in only 6 turns!

      Believe me, I would have loved the chance to equalise but it was a school night and actually 4 KO's was probably going to be more satisfying!

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