Monday, 6 May 2013

Golden Boars Vs. Wasteland Wanderers

Some time ago, me and my good buddy Ollie played some Blood  Bowl. I'd assembled a motley crew of 2nd ed Dark Elves and he had some shiny new Human players. The game was a great one and not just because it was the first one for both of us with physical minis - I'd had one or two go's on the PC computer game before hand... 

During the game Ollie took notes and I took pics - here's the result!

Goooood morning, bowl fans! Coverage today is brought to you TODAY by RADIO ORCSHIRE! 

Welcome to the local Derby between the Golden Boars and the Wasteland Wanderers. 

There is certainly no love lost between theses two teams, both renowned for their brutality and sneaky tactics. 

The crowd seems well lubricated in hot Squigs and Fungal beer. Today promises to be a deadly match with a great deal of gratuitous violence!!!!

Kick off

And the WW have won the toss; kick off to the WW then!

What’s this? Awwww a straight rock to the face of one of the WW Blizters, certainly a home crowd advantage for the GB.

Opening play - GB moving on the Left Flank, and it’s a clean pick up.

  In the centre of the pitch the Mighty Zug is pounding a WW lineman into the ground like a Nail.

Griff storms down the right wing...

Awww, a GB lineman is Knocked down!

Turn over

Play 2

Even more GB players are knocked down, but lucky for some no further injuries.

Big play by Hubris Rakarth - BIG hit on Zug, felling the giant of a man.

 The rest of the Wanderers form a defensive line...

Play 3

GB Catcher runs with the ball with a quick handover to a lineman, could this be a touch down ladys, Orcs, Dwarfs, Humans, Elves, etc etc? Still no WW defenders in sight - Quick pass, awwwww, FUMBLE! That’s one for the Wooden Spoon award.

Turn over to the WW

Play 4

WW close in onto the fumble, BIG HIT by Hubris yet again, GB lineman sleeping after that one.

 Star player Griff Oberwald is certainly earning his pay in that ruck.

 GB Blitzer pounds WW linemen but no running play.


Play 5

Ball free GB pick up???? Nope smashed in his tracks!

Play 6

GB Blitz, no one cares for the ball, HUGE pitch fight, GB doing well!

GB Blitz left flank, big blocks but no substance! Must be their Sparkling Armour!

Play 7

WW CAGE AROUND THE BALL. Old school sneaky tactics - very reflective of Dark Elves. 

Harkon picks up the ball, GB block but - Oh NO Griff Oberwald is taken down. Not looking good for the GB…

Play 8

Let’s get ready to FUMBLE! Pitch fight!!!

Half time-

What’s this a half time streaker? URRRRRGH!!!! Nothing quite as off putting as an OGRE lady in a thong! 

Apologies sports fans, once she has stopped crushing people, she will by led away.

Play 1

And it’s the second half - kick off to the GB’s. The WW’s receive the ball and begin to form a sneaky CAGE around the ball yet again.

Zug parries but is hit and knocked down. A WW lineman doesn't fare so well! They're a man down now!

Play 2

The WW move the loose CAGE and the ball in a sideways left to right pitch movement. 

Plenty of blocks as well...

 Awwwww two GB players are injured! It’s not looking good for the GB’s, ladies and gentle orks!

Play 3

GB stun two WW players but fail again to make any impact (weak humans!).

Play 4

Some foul play here everyone - it appears Harkon has attempted to STAB to death Griff Oberwald. Like a true pro, Griff has merely punched the cheeky Elf in the baby maker (problem solved).

 Yet another pitch fight on the right flank, boy this game is heated.

Play 5

Yet more fighting, Yawnnnn!!!!!!

Oh my Chaos GODS, the WW have broke the line……

The Boars give chase...

But to no avail...

...TOUCH DOWN!!!!!! The crowd goes so wild people are being torn to pieces everywhere!!!!!

Play 6

Its end game for the GB’s. The GB’s have CAGED the ball and are moving down field.

Again the Mighty Zug has been knocked down, I fear the transfer window may well open on the big fella again this year.

Play 7

The CAGE is moving down the left hand side of the field…

…..Griff Oberwald! By Nuffle! He’s AWAY…….

Play 8

WW defence is left stunned no one is close to him.

LONG BOMB from the CAGE…



Well ladies and gentle Orks what a fantastic draw between two very fearsome and talented individuals!

Thanks to Ollie for the commentary - I think I got the pics in the right order!

Well we certainly had a blast with our first game of Blood Bowl. We used the 3rd ed Rules on the 2nd ed pitch which seemed to work ok. The game was played over two evenings - probably could have been quicker without my sieve-like memory necessitating much flicking through the rule book!

Highlights of the game - for me!

Keeping the "Mighty" Zug on the floor for a large part of the match!

Taking possession of the ball in the Boars' half.

A textbook running play, ending in a touchdown for the Wanderers - shame it wasn 't later in the half so as to deny the Boars a chance to make a come back!

The Golden Boars' amazing equaliser in the final turn! Lets just say there were quite a lot of dice rolls made to evade tackle zones, Oberwald's Going for it rolls, not to mention the Long Bomb - all successful, which was a good job as the Boars had run out of re-rolls by then. A truly exciting end to the game!


  1. Replies
    1. Ah, that would be Micheline Tendresse - Courtesy of the good folks at Goblin Forge!

  2. That's gotta be the coolest-looking BB set-up I've ever seen. Great report, sir!

    1. Cheers Gareth, although I just played and took the pics!

  3. Great game and I never would have guessed that you weren't and old pro at Blood Bowl. I still kick myself for not buying it back in the day.

    1. Thanks Sean - I try not to look at the amount of hours Steam says I've played Blood Bowl Legendary on the PC... ;)

  4. Ah, I see you are a connoisseur of unreasoning violence on the pitch. Keep up the good work!

    1. Thanks Ork Lord - can't beat the crunch of bone on Astrogranite!

  5. Oh ho, been on the BB 'training simulator' have we? I have your number, I will be drafting in extra Black Orcs after reading this! ;)

    1. Ah shoot - that's as bad a slip up as leaving your playbook out for the opposition!

      I'd best leave my virtual Dark Elf team alone and get practising with Humans - damn them for not having a mixed team option!